Monday, January 2, 2012

Dear boohooing boss: leave the tears out of termination

A fired TV news anchor leaked the embarrassing details of his termination to a nationally-read industry blog today: he had to fire himself because, he said, his boohooing boss couldn't get the words out. We weren't there so we don't know if the story is true or embellished. But we do know it's the wrong thing for a terminating manager to do.

It's hard to turn people out on the streets. It doesn't matter whether their actions warranted termination or whether it's an economic decision. It doesn't get any easier. I spent 15 years in a management position and had to pull the trigger many times. And yes, I can tell you some of my decisions were mistakes. Many of those employees deserved better. And they deserved a better boss.

Hard for the boss, yes. But having been on both sides of the desk, I can tell you for a fact it is harder for the employee.

When he leaves your office, escorted past his co-workers by the HR Director, you answer your next incoming call. You go to lunch as usual while he drives home trying to avoid an accident. You sit down to dinner with your family that night while he calls a family meeting to tell his children Daddy no longer has a job. Your alarm goes off early the next morning so you can go to work. He won't need an alarm for months. No, he will be up all night feeling worthless, worrying about his networking and resume writing and living through the hell of being rejected for 99% of the jobs he will apply for.

Yes. He is the 99%. You are the 1%. It’s the job you signed up for.

I was terminated by a boohooing boss once. In the seconds that it happened, I felt so badly for this person, I invited them to leave the office and finished up myself with HR. By the time I got home, though, I was pretty pissed. Before the horror of being fired hit me, what hit me first was the realization that my boss took one of the most difficult moments in my life and made it all about himself. The tears were about how HE felt about looking in the mirror, about what it be like for HIM to tell his family he'd fired someone whose work ethic he had previously bragged about. Wait a minute dude, this is my moment.

Look, we know most bosses have hearts, and passion, and feelings. Otherwise they would not be able to attract and retain so many good employees. They would not be able to lead during difficult times. But breaking down during a termination is not good leadership.

At that moment, the most important person in the conversation – the only person who should matter in the conversation – is the employee.

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