The Positive Image of Media Cooperation, not Competition in Coverage of Tragedy

I support an American media summit in which ethics, competition and cooperation are examined, and higher standards are set and embraced by news professionals.

I support this because I have perspective—as a former news professional and now as a news consumer.

Our hearts broke together Friday as we watched the horror unfold in Newtown. For those of us in Oregon it was the second massacre we read about or reported on in three days.  We looked for answers. We held hands in churches and prayed together.  We grieved and we felt angry. Most of all we hungered for more information – photos, life stories and the answer to the biggest, still unanswered question—WHY?

We wanted the media to bring us all that and this is why we logged on and tuned in, in record numbers.

For media, feeding the audience took a wrong turn decades ago.  The purpose of providing information and promoting change –the social mission – is too often pushed to the back burner by the economic mission—one supported by the highest ratings, the most page visits..

Media have a tough job.  And usually, they do a good job.   Journalists are spouses, brothers, sisters and parents, too.  But they have to put that aside and rush from one unfolding story to another.  They often don’t get time to watch and truly take in what they are reporting; they are under pressure to knock on doors, land the first interview with the mother, to get the video on air first.

I led that charge as a four- time news director.  I knew the consequences of getting there last and getting left out.   I stopped just talking ethics and put it in writing in my Portland newsroom–no interviews with children who witnessed crime, no interviews with children at any sensitive story without parental permission, no cold door knocks for families of  tragedies but instead work through the pastor or a neighbor. Some of the team embraced it.  At least one of my own anchors questioned and challenged it.  Hopefully we all feel differently now and are willing to examine our standards.

The Newton tragedies present media with a real dilemma: news outlets cannot and must not ignore the story. In fact, they should now lead the discussions on gun control and mental illness.

But can they cooperate during tragedy? 

I support a summit to be called by the responsible media leadership in America. Come together and come out of it with a formal action plan.  Adopt a set of standards so that when tragedy reaches a certain level, cooperation, not competition, takes the lead.  Have a pool camera remain on the scene so  that small towns and shopping malls are not overrun with hundreds of news crews.  Agree not to knock on a door once a family has said “no, thank you.”  Have rules about using children in stories.  Adopt this policy for working media and teach it in schools to want-to-be journalists.  Social media is taking over fast and eroding our standards.  This may be your last chance to own accuracy and decency.

 

 

 

 

Dear Mr. President, We Will Walk Together

America is a great nation.  It has been under attack too much in recent years. Terrorism and natural disasters deserve all of our energy. But the biggest threat-divisiveness internally-has created too many distractions.  That was borne out in the recent elections where billions were spent on campaign promises…and what will change?

I suggest we change at least our attitudes and work together. I believe most of those who ran for office and all of those who were elected have good intentions for Americans. Let us walk together.  Let us start with one thing, get one thing right before we try to do all things.  I’m talking about jobs.  Job one is employment for Americans.

My prayers are with those who will graduate next month, and next spring –that jobs await them.  My prayers are with those who struggle with unemployment and underemployment. My prayers are with workers who are growing older but who bring no less energy to their jobs – that they won’t be forced out. Ours is not a nation of the “47%” waiting for entitlements.  Ours is a nation of people who want to earn wages and determine their own prosperity.

Who will take the first step? 

Mr. President, you have won your job, and you will have my support.  It is fitting you begin your second term on Martin Luther King Day.  I call on you to sponsor a nationwide job fair on that day.  

Vote in Favor of a Positive Week

Our hearts are heavy as we cope with the horrible aftermath of the Colorado massacre last week. It would be easy to resign ourselves to anger, to pontificate about why it happened, to jump into the political arguments about whether gun control would have prevented this.

 I’m not going there, because I don’t have any answers.

Instead, I think we could all use some good news. We can all work to give ourselves and our loved ones a positive week. It’s possible through our actions and through our prayers. I have some requests for the prayer list:

 • For the unemployed. I have friends who have been out of work for months now. You probably do, too. I have a good vibe that doors are going to swing open for them this week.

• For those struggling with serious illness. A Facebook friend’s three-year-old has been diagnosed with Leukemia. He also has Down Syndrome. May the medial treatments and prayers continue to work for him so he will have a good week. And may his mommy get some much needed rest.

 • In appreciation of our bosses. That can be a lonely job. They often have to deliver disappointing news, make difficult decisions and take a level of stress to bed with them every night that we can only imagine. May we all do something this week – one little thing—to make their load lighter.

• In gratitude to our loved ones who put up with us! May they have at least one great moment this week to inhale summer – whether it’s the satisfying taste of roasted corn, fresh berry ice cream or just time to relax in the sun while we cut the grass for a change.

 • In awe of stay-at-home parents. My friend’s career took off at a time when she had two very young children. She and her husband made the decision – way before it was cool to be Mr. Mom – to have her husband give up his job so their children could be well cared for. Today, those young adults are honors students at the best colleges. Another friend was a highly regarded marketing professional with a growing national reputation. She put her career on pause when her daughter was born premature. Today her young daughter is thriving and we all enjoy the Facebook photos of her little hands covered in finger paint. Not everyone can afford to make these decisions but hopefully this week brings some proud moments to the Eric’s and the Buffy’s of the world.

 • For our aging parents. May they have a day this week when a vibrant burst of energy allows them to take a swim, get out on the boat or work in the garden.

 • For those who want to be in loving relationships. May they realize this week that they are loved and valued.

 • For all of you, that you have something happen every single day this week that results in a positive thought or action.

 This will be a good week, if we let it. I just know it. If you have a positive moment please share it in the comments so everyone can find the simple truth in gratitude.

Best. Positive. Image. Ever

Most. Positive.Image. Ever. If Melonie can do it, what exactly is your problem?

She was one of five children born to a single mom who struggled to hold it together. She never understood why her father wanted nothing to do with her, even though she looked just like him.

She did understand that drugs were an escape and prostituting herself was a way to pay for it. By the time she was 18, she had 4 children of her own, and a baby daddy who abused her to within an inch of her life.

Years later she is standing before a banquet room with 400 people who wipe tears listening to her story, and who give her a thunderous standing ovation when she is finished telling it. This is no ordinary rags-to-riches story.

Had I seen her before I heard it – seen the silky skin, the stylish outfit, the steely confidence – or better yet, had I seen her hustling to bring life back to barely beating hearts – I'd have made the five-second assumption that she came from a family of privilege. The kind of family that could afford to send her to the best schools. The kind of set up that allowed her time to study.

That's not Melonie's story. Not by a long shot.

Those four children? She loved them. And she lost them. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise that the state took them into protective custody. Maybe it was the breaking point. We can't judge that. What's on record was that her mother – the remarkable woman who did the best she could with her five children – stayed in Melonie's life and convinced her to leave Minnesota – to escape the abusive boyfriend and to ride the train to Oregon to try for a better life.

That didn't work, either, at least not at first.

When the train jerked to a stop in Portland, there were no jobs. There was no support system, nothing to hold her up or bring her along. She took to the under culture, doing drugs and selling her body and soul to survive.

She lived and slept under Portland's legendary bridges.

Maybe there was a reason God put her there, under that bridge the night she saw the billboard. It was an advertisement for a hospital, plastered onto the side of building, picturing a larger than life shot of a doctor. It reminded her of something – the dream she'd abandoned years before of becoming a nurse.

It's not like she woke up the next day and enrolled in nursing school. There was a stop in jail along the way. There was a painful coming-to-Jesus experience People Like Us can't even imagine, much less make happen.

There was a series of letters Melonie wrote from her cell to case workers and judges, advocates and anyone who would listen, making a case to get her kids back...and she won. She won them seconds away from adoption. She won acceptance into a program that helped her stand on her own two feet as a mom and finally as a nursing student. There was this man she met, the guy who'd become her rock and her husband. And there was the time it all became too much and there was a relapse, the one that sent her spiraling fast back to where she'd come from, to what might have been a point of no return.
Except for that man, her husband, who knew what to do. Except for Melonie's mother, her kids and her own resolve to respond. Her husband had a relationship with Lifeworks Northwest. The Portland organization helps solve mental health and addiction issues for thousands of families. Every year. Every day. He knew who to call and they knew what to do.

With a leave of absence from school,Lifeworks Northwest, family support and that resolve, Melone came back. Then she went back. To school. To graduate. To be hired by one of Portland's larger hospitals, but not into just any nursing job.

No, her interviewing supervisors knew those nerves of steel, that non judgmental heart, that life experience, that resolve, was perfect for the trauma unit.

That doctor on the billboard?

She works with him now.

And when she's not busy with her family, her now adult children, her career, she's giving back. She's volunteering, encouraging people on the edge not to fall off. And she's teaching CPR to the team at Lifeworks Northwest. Stands to reason, doesn't it, that someone who could have been left for dead under a bridge believes that every heart deserves a second chance.

So today she's looking beautiful and strong, standing on a stage sharing her story with hundreds of supporters, movers and shakers, curious people who want to help. They hear her story. They experience the results of Lifeworks Northwest where “life works when you get the support you need.”

Melonie was the final speaker. She followed the executive whose mother was addicted to pain killers and then arrested trying to obtain more prescriptions. Melonie followed the well-produced video featuring several amazing people who were talking about their mental illnesses and addictions and successfully living with them; living amongst us.

So, let me get this straight: Lifeworks Northwest reaches out to people on the edge, to the hopeless, the addicted, those convicted of crimes...and Melonie is the outcome?

I'd support that in a heartbeat.

Where do I sign up?

Right here.

Share your fabulously Positive Image with all

You are just fabulous! Time to tell everyone. The beginning of a New Year is a great time, at least symbolically, to take important steps in our lives. Too often, it is a missed opportunity. We don't go to the gym after the first month, we stop eating a healthy breakfast, we slip back into negative thinking...whatever that hard habit is to break, we give up on it fast.

I am here to tell you that the one “resolution” you do have control of and that you can keep, is taking stock of what you have done in your career and volunteer life, and sharing it.

Think for just a minute about the last year. In this economy, chances are that you took on additional duties at work. Whether that came with a raise or a title isn't important in terms of what you have to sell in your future. Did you complete some web training, get any certification, attend some face-to-face conferences, accept any positions in professional organizations or do any volunteer work? Time to tell the world.

Think of this exercise not in terms of dusting off the resume so you can look for another job; you may be perfectly happy where you are. Think of it in terms of collecting your thoughts as your prepare for your own annual evaluation. Sharing these accomplishments is also a way for you to “give back” as you network. As professionals network on line, they're often looking for a counterpart who has “been there and done that.” Sharing ideas in professional on line discussion groups is rewarding. Often, your expertise could land you a speaker's slot at a conference, with expenses paid!

Moving forward in 2012, document your improvements as you make them, so you're instantly ready to think on your feet if the opportunity to pitch a promotion comes up.

I am declaring Saturday, January 7, 2012 to be “Profile Update Day.” Join me in taking a few minutes to update your professional profiles. Share your Positive Image with all!

Dear boohooing boss: leave the tears out of termination

A fired TV news anchor leaked the embarrassing details of his termination to a nationally-read industry blog today: he had to fire himself because, he said, his boohooing boss couldn't get the words out. We weren't there so we don't know if the story is true or embellished. But we do know it's the wrong thing for a terminating manager to do.

It's hard to turn people out on the streets. It doesn't matter whether their actions warranted termination or whether it's an economic decision. It doesn't get any easier. I spent 15 years in a management position and had to pull the trigger many times. And yes, I can tell you some of my decisions were mistakes. Many of those employees deserved better. And they deserved a better boss.

Hard for the boss, yes. But having been on both sides of the desk, I can tell you for a fact it is harder for the employee.

When he leaves your office, escorted past his co-workers by the HR Director, you answer your next incoming call. You go to lunch as usual while he drives home trying to avoid an accident. You sit down to dinner with your family that night while he calls a family meeting to tell his children Daddy no longer has a job. Your alarm goes off early the next morning so you can go to work. He won't need an alarm for months. No, he will be up all night feeling worthless, worrying about his networking and resume writing and living through the hell of being rejected for 99% of the jobs he will apply for.

Yes. He is the 99%. You are the 1%. It’s the job you signed up for.

I was terminated by a boohooing boss once. In the seconds that it happened, I felt so badly for this person, I invited them to leave the office and finished up myself with HR. By the time I got home, though, I was pretty pissed. Before the horror of being fired hit me, what hit me first was the realization that my boss took one of the most difficult moments in my life and made it all about himself. The tears were about how HE felt about looking in the mirror, about what it be like for HIM to tell his family he'd fired someone whose work ethic he had previously bragged about. Wait a minute dude, this is my moment.

Look, we know most bosses have hearts, and passion, and feelings. Otherwise they would not be able to attract and retain so many good employees. They would not be able to lead during difficult times. But breaking down during a termination is not good leadership.

At that moment, the most important person in the conversation – the only person who should matter in the conversation – is the employee.